Should My Work Support International Men’s Day?
“Isn’t every day International Men’s Day?” is a question you may hear 364 days a year while “why don’t men get their own day?” is another question you may hear on or around March 8th annually.
The reality is that both can be true at the same time. In inclusive, equitable, and diverse cultures, there really is something for everyone.
Men are simultaneously overrepresented in media, politics, leadership, and other positions of influence and power in our culture – while the narrative of how boys and men are harmed by patriarchy is not yet an everyday conversation (suicide, overdose, pre-mature death, violence at the hands of other men, etc.)
Recently, I was asked, “should my organization support International Men’s Day (IMD)?”
We continue to have our own conversations about IMD — What are we celebrating on this day? Whose messaging do we amplify each time we use #InternationalMensDay? Are these values aligned with our organization’s mission, vision, and values?
To help you make the best decision for you and your organization, we’ve compiled a list of reasons why you should or should not consider International Men’s Day. You might be surprised to see the cons first, but we want you to go into this eyes wide open.
The Cons
Who’s really behind IMD?
Well, first of all, the group that runs the not-so-bad InternationalMensDay.com website, Dads4Kids, has some pretty awful views:
“The overwhelming conclusion of current social science research has shown that the best environment for children is a two heterosexual-parent household. The best way to ensure strong families is to support strong marriages. This traditional family unit — a loving father, mother and their children — is the best way to nurture, educate and protect children. This is the best social security system the world has ever known.”
These beliefs are not on the front page of the site. You might not know (or have the time) to click through the links to find these ‘foundational beliefs’, and by no means would we ever want to unintentionally espouse homophobic or transphobic rhetoric!
Are the origins even worth celebrating?
IMD was first conceived as an idea in 1991, faded and then was revitalized for not-so-inspiring reasons? We should be so lucky to celebrate our favourite sports team’s success, but I’m sure there are better reasons for a day to celebrate men…
”Jerome Teelucksingh, who revived the event, chose November 19 to honour his father's birthday and also to celebrate how on that date in 1989 Trinidad and Tobago's football team had united the country with their endeavours to qualify for the World Cup.”
It is not equivalent to other gendered days of recognition.
You may have the best intentions, but this day is easy to fumble the bag – we do not want to position the day as equivalent to women’s or trans days of recognition marking the systemic oppression and marginalization those groups experience and are striving to overcome.
It is a nuanced lens to say that for all the benefits patriarchy bestows on men as a group, patriarchy harms individual men and boys deeply, in many different ways. Inviting discussions about power & privilege is a bit more complicated than growing a moustache for Movember (the answer is yes, you should definitely grow a moustache for men’s health 👨🏻👨🏼🦰👴🏾) and requires some effort and thoughtful reflection.
How is it adding value to your culture of inclusion?
Much like the aforementioned days of recognition – What is International Women’s Day without closing the wage gap? A performance. If you bring IMD to the forefront, make it meaningful in celebrating men’s use of parental leave, access to male-specific mental health supports, or otherwise make the conversation uniquely impactful to your organization and the issues men are facing.
The Pros
What’s in it for me?
Men sometimes feel left out of the conversation of gender. IMD is an opportunity to engage male-identified employees and leaders in conversations around gender norms and gendered experiences of men to show that they, too, have a stake in transforming the status quo around mental health & well-being, psychological safety, healthy relationships related to parental leave, and more.
Beyond “what do you do?”
Occupation is often a pivotal part of men’s identities as it’s tied to the outdated idea that men’s primary roles are that of breadwinners. IMD is a good opportunity to evaluate how workplace cultures impact men and the themes related to lack of asking for the help and support they need, fear of failure and perception, not having people to turn to or ability to be vulnerable, and a lack of role models leading the way in transforming these experiences.
Building allyship.
When someone shows up for you, you’re more likely to show up for them. The hope is that seeing women and others’ investment in IMD can show that International Women’s Day (March 8th), Trans Day of Visibility (March 31st), Trans Day of Remembrance (November 20th), Nonbinary People’s Day (July 14th), and other gender-related days are opportunities for men to show up. Keep up to date with other important dates through our friends Feminuity.
Celebrate diversity broadly.
Men are not a monolith – we should celebrate queer men, men of colour, disabled men, fathers, and all other manifestations of men on this day. Men aren’t just ‘male employees’ they are partners, siblings, friends, coaches, caregivers and role models in the community. Inviting all men into the evolving conversation around what it means to ‘be a man’ creates greater possibilities for that identity.
At Next Gen Men and Equity Leaders, we’ve adopted the posture that if folks are going to be looking for something like International Men’s Day – whether that be in the office, online, or in wherever else boys & men gather – we might as well give them something positive to find and point to.
The day for us is not about who runs the official website, or what the origins and history of the day are, but rather our vision for a future where boys & men feel less pain, and cause less harm. What could IMD mean for you and your organization?
If you’re going to support IMD, add to the conversation and contribute your own spin on things – a new perspective, a new story, or an industry focus to make sure the day doesn’t become unmoored from the goals of inclusion for all.
So here are a few organizations, including yours truly, that we feel offer transformative opportunities for men’s health & mental well-being, positive masculinities, healthy relationships, and gender equity to further our vision of a future where boys & men feel less pain and cause less harm on November 19th and beyond:
In the end, if you decide International Men’s Day isn’t for you and your organization at this point, there’s always World Toilet Day on November 19th (recognized by the UN).